Friday, January 26, 2007

We now paws for this message....

My dog is nuts. I'd say my kid was nuts as well but that would be redundant. My kid is a typical 5 year old whose favorite past time is taking headers off the couch and farting.

My dog on the other hand......

We have anxiety issues. Left to his own devices, Rupert, (that's the dog) will destroy anything within his reach. Thank the gods the dog only weighs 13 lbs. (approx. 6 kilos). He's a chihuahua/dachshund cross. I'm convinced therein lies his problem. Chihuahuas would rule the world if they had opposable thumbs. The next time you see a chihuahua basking in a sunbeam, take a hard look. That dog isn't napping, she/he is plotting (not entirely unlike The Brain) to take over the world. That supremely benign expression is pure ecstasy at the thought of a chihuahua run world.

Now back to Rupert.

His dachshund side is considerably more pragmatic than the chihuahua side. Dachshunds are tough little bastiches with a no nonsense air about them. His rampant discontent is because one part of him wishes to be Supreme Ruler while the other side sees the futility of trying to make adult human beings do anything that makes sense...not entirely like herding cats or asking for a group of 5 year olds to maintain a modicum of order.

So Rupert is sentenced to a life of conflicting thoughts and I am sentenced to a life of picking up piles of shredded tissue or overturned trash cans. My mini blinds are forever in peril.

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